twinking:

girl: deeper!!!!

boy

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titounettes:

naturalmomma:

Why are guys so obsessed with their dicks? We’ll be like “Mothers have the right to breastfeed their baby in public!” And without fail, dudes chime in with, “Does that mean I can pull my dick out in public? Can I urinate in public?” Chill the fuck out. This isn’t about your dick. You are already allowed to have your nipples out in public, sit the fuck down.

oh my GOD THANK YOU

heathened:privatebarb:amenpenis:

A threshold moment in human evolution

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#hey itunes instead of making all of us get the u2 album how about make a skip to nicki’s verse button  

rowanandphoenixfeather:

one of my roommates used to work with 5th graders in a creative writing class thing and they had to write a romance and most of the kids wrote stories about princesses and crap but this one little girl wrote about how a marshmallow fell in love with a mug of cocoa and he loved the cocoa so much that in order to be with her he melted and died like wow kid that’s some shakespearian shit right there

mary-batman:

Social anxiety isn’t “omg I hate people lol I wish I was sleeping and watching netflix!” It’s “I want desperately to be able to hang out with people but I hate the feeling of sheer panic and fear I get around them so I don’t / can’t and it eats away at me every day so I end up just staying home and say I’m sleeping or watching something”